The Last Day of March

It is true that I fell off the daily writing habit by the end. Strange, given that it was Spring Break and I had loads more time. Actually I wrote much this week, just for other formats: grad school application, personal meditation journals, career brainstorms. I guess all of those could have been a “Slice,” but for some reason they kept themselves separate, those pieces. That is ok.

This month of writing has been part of a huge transformation. I began the month with a piece reflecting on being down and out. I end the month passionate: applying to a newly discovered grad program and full of joie de vive. Getting the pen to paper or fingers to the key pads has been great, just great, for my creative spirit.

I will continue. Tuesdays here I come…

Propane

The boys are trying to figure out how to attach a small propane tank to the brand new grill.

This is something that would usually be my role. I’m the one in the family that takes care of all things technical. Putting equipment or furniture together, following complicated manuals, fixing broken appliances, repairing plumbing… this has been my domain. I’m the one who will sit with assembly instructions all around me for hours. I’m the one who knew how to use the last grill with the large propane tank. I’m the one who replaced and attached it each time.

But I’m sitting here trying to think of what to write for a slice, so I stay quiet. My silence, my withdrawal, turns out to be a fascinating view into the boys being on their own.

Now, to be clear, “the boys,” are 53 and 19 year old men. Very capable men. I think. So far it has taken two Youtube videos, a recommendation to call ACE hardware, and rereading the instruction manual a few times. Propane on the new grill is not hooked up yet.

It has become an act of mindfulness for me. Simply be aware of my desire to stop what I’m doing and attach the propane. Let the thought pass. I am acutely aware that if I hadn’t been committed to writing a slice I would have jumped in to “save” them.

I’m grateful for slices for many reasons. Today, one of those reasons is that I let them have their own time to figure things out. The propane is on. The teen is marinateiugn steaks. And it looks like I was able to find my slice.

 

Two Words

Two Words

Perspective

Misunderstanding

Injustice

Racism

“Why are you even here then?”

Two Words

On a shirt

Perspective

At home it’s the favorite spot for rock climbing

Misunderstanding

“Oh man, I’m not like that. It’s a gym.”

On vacation in Mexico it looks very different

to locals

Injustice

Racism

Exclusion

That’s the connotation on the other side of our border

Two Words

On a shirt

For a gym

The Wall

Random Act

Being behind people in line as they check out their groceries can be oddly intimate, a small glance into a strangers’ food choices, personality, even financial status. We don’t pay attention, yet we do. At least I do, sometimes more than others.

This time my attention was on the baby. Held by her young mom? No, a family of three it was; mid thirties mom, with teen daughter, tween son, and the baby. Her pink pjs were a bit worn, as was the mother’s face- worn out like the Velveteen rabbit’s fur. The smiles, though, on both faces, were the kind that light up the whole expression. The entire family smiled with their eyes. They smiled at the baby as her sister helped her do baby pull ups on a sign promoting Von’s shopping bags for 99 cents. They smiled at each other when sis passed the baby to ten year old brother. His hold was more precarious, affectionate, but not smooth enough to last long. Back to sis when the happy bundle of what? Six months? Bundle of baby cuteness.

While I had been following the baby, mom had been held up at the register. “It said it was approved already,” she was telling the cashier. Awkward seconds passed.

“Um, could you try it again?” Now I watched Mom’s eyes grow increasingly tired and anxious. “That went through for $19.48 so that will be another $12.50,” the cashier expressionlessly reported. I didn’t want to look at mom. I had a feeling already, from this intimate proximity into their life. I saw the worn clothes, the cheaper food. I sensed her stress.

“I don’t have another card with me right now,” she said with resignation. “I’ll have to come back later.”  I was trying to give them the social courtesy of space, but my husband and I were not much more than an arm’s length away.

A manager was called. “Yes, you owe $12.50,” she reported, more forcefully than the young cashier.  Mom again had to explain, in front of all of us, that she didn’t have a way to pay this amount.

Now, I wish I could say it was I who acted. It wasn’t. To my happy surprise, it was my guy. He acted. He was the one who stepped forward in that way that I’ve read about people doing to spread acts of kindness. “I’ll get it,” he told the cashier. A split second of silence followed as we all looked to him. “Yeah, it’s 12 bucks, just put it with our stuff.” Casual in his kindness.

“Wow. I mean…I don’t know what to say. I think I’m gonna cry.”

“It’s all good, no worries.” Calm and casual.

He paid. She took her bags and her family off into the evening. His random act of kindness spread out into our world.

List of Ten Teacher Truths About Me

1. I get deep down happy when the kid who writes one sentence, maybe, in months, suddenly writes a whole paragraph. That the grade level goal is pages, not a paragraph, doesn’t dim my joy.
2. Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling” is my jam. I play it for afternoon cleanups as often as I think the kids will tolerate. And I dance every. single. time. Whether or not anyone else ever does.
3. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but I take it personally when kids say school is boring.
4. The light in their eyes when I see a student “gets” something in their learning makes me jump up and down saying, “Yes!”
5. A student making a mistake in a class discussion makes me jump up and down, saying, “Yes!”
6. I have piles of stuff everywhere and I hate it. I’d love to hire a professional organizer.
7. Edutopia article reading is one of my favorite hobbies.
8. The shift to common core math changed me from math phobic to a passionate math fan.
9. First graders freak me out.
10. I am a firm believer in public school; yet I keep my un-schooling heart.

North Ponto

Balance

Grounding

Sounds of the sea

Light reflects on

Smooth stones under foot

A day bookmarked

by rise

and set

Psychedelic Sunrise

Deep radiant pink

Brilliant red orange

Horizon’s dawn greeting

Each second spreading

Across the cloud dotted expanse

Next glance

A full dome of sunrise colors

Reserved for these moments

Shades too primal for words

Illuminate

Spring’s first day

The Wall

I looked at my son, all six feet of him attached to the rock climbing wall with angled toes and fingertips. Watched him as he made his way up the route with strength, balance, and a nice leap of faith to that last hold. Here we were, Sunday afternoon at The Wall, our local indoor bouldering gym. He can get up harder climbs than I, so I watch his for fun, and he helps me work out how to climb the slightly easier ones. Gives encouragement when I get close.

Each time we are here just us, my mind flashes back. Back twenty years to when his dad and I joined that rock climbing gym in San Francisco, where we went almost every night. Loving him and loving rock climbing. I climbed into my 7th month of pregnancy but then just couldn’t pull us both up very well. “Someday, when you’re able, I hope we’ll go climbing together,” I thought to my unborn child.

I didn’t get back to rock climbing for twenty years, but now here we both are. Sunday afternoon at The Wall.

Rainbows at a Tech Conference

Rainbows are always a good sign.

I’ve spent the last four days at the CUE educational technology conference in Palm Springs, well actually three days given that a mix of drug reactions and dehydration knocked me out for a full 24 hours in the hotel (but that’s  another story.)  Each day on the drive from Palm Desert to Palm Springs there was a rainbow beaming from the clouds floating amongst the desert mountains down to us. How can you not smile at a rainbow? Each day at this conference was a giant inspirational smile. It was not about tech for tech sake, but about tech for reaching, educating, and empowering students in new and exciting ways. I’m hooked!

Listening to the co founder of “Amy Poelher’s Smart Girls” give an keynote speech about dreaming big and going for it, I felt, “Oh my god thisis exactly what I need to hear right now!” Then I was inspired by going to sessions with educators who are changing the classroom experience all around. CUE was filled with people who are not just moving into the 21st century but inhabiting this century with gusto. I kept thinking, “I could do that. No, I will do that! (at least some.)” So with renewed enthusiasm I will take new ideas to the classroom on Monday, and who knows, maybe I will become more involved in educational technology myself.

Rainbows are a good sign.

No, I Didn’t Drink Too Much

The storyline seems ridiculously over dramatic.

Slightly depressed teacher gets Zoloft prescription. Ups dosage too quickly. Goes to a technology conference with a colleague and has to jump out of the car to violently vomit into a trash can in downtown Palm Springs.

Absurd.